Tired of high oil prices and politics! Have I got a deal for you!
I have decided to accept the office of the President of the USA.
All you have to do is WRITE ME IN !!!
No campaign contributions from anyone! This is totally grass roots! And only one term!
***My platform is:***
Day one: Air Force One will be sold! I will ride my GT or my wife can drive me in her car in the weather turns to shit. If I must fly it will be commercial at my expense. Same for the rest of the elected officials!
The wars will be fought by the Generals, that's what they are paid for!
Day two: Oil drilling anywhere, even my back yard. Screw the so called "greenies". So sue me! I'm the President!
Diamond lanes will be motorcycles only. No trucks will be allowed in the fast lane, period. Speed limits will be changed to "reasonable and prudent".
Day three: I will appoint my cabinet. They will be comprised of oil wildcatters, captains of industry, billionaires, whores, rednecks, cowboys and cowgirls. Same for judges! absolutely no whiners and cry babies.
Day four: We will send our old and unneeded nuclear bombs back to the labs and tell the scientists to take a hack saw too them, scrape out the innards, and make it into useable fuel for the nuclear power plants that will be started on day five. Not to worry, we will keep enough bombs just in case!
Coal and oil shale will be dug up and converted into fuel, lots of it! That will get us another 200 years of ridding!
Day five: See day four. Plus we start building oil refineries, even in my own backyard. No regional fuels. Smog laws are tight enough.
We will build wind turbines where the wind blows. Here! Solar panels where the sun shines. Almost every where, get it!
Day six: Corn will only be used for eating or making into booze! All taxes on gas and booze will go to building roads (the twister the better!) and railroads.
A chicken in every pot and steak on every plate, if you work for it and pay for it. No handouts!
Day seven: REST, go for a ride, whatever.
Day eight: And what ever else need to be done to get this great country back in business!
Norris "il Presidente" Cooper
Andover Kansas USA