Beware of synthetic oil! - K-Bikes.com - Excellence in Motion
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2007, 5:27 pm Thread Starter
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Beware of synthetic oil!

Beware of synthetic oil! It can do terrible things to you and your beloved motorcycle.
It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system.
It also will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not all...
Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings.
It will also splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and she'll never ride with you again.
Synthetic oil coats your sight window and your timing window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both non-removable and highly corrosive.
Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and die.
Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak.
It will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars.
It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends.
It will lubricate your timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to bits.
Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every six miles.
Then it melts the black soles of your riding boots right before you walk across your new carpeting.
While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge of your nose.
It also causes your swingarm to crack, your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555.
It also dries out your wetclutch and wets your dryclutch.
It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good measure.
Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs.
Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two sizes the night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold it to the Chinese for ?1.25.
Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail.
Synthetic oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends and then sign your name at the bottom!

Brian

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2007, 6:30 pm
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Too funny!
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 4th, 2007, 12:19 pm
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[QUOTE=Oregon_Rider]Beware of synthetic oil! It can do terrible things to you and your beloved motorcycle.
It will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars.]

Yeah, I am lucky it is slippery. So slippery that those nearby police cars can't get a hold of me. Good stuff.

Last edited by Wildbeast; Jan 4th, 2007 at 1:59 pm.
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 4th, 2007, 6:24 pm
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...It also will get on your debit card and when you swipe it it will delete all your $$$..in your account........5th sfg....thanks for your service...
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 4th, 2007, 6:44 pm Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BAK04GT
5th sfg....thanks for your service...
Never got deployed. Practiced a lot though.

'preciate your thanks!

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 4th, 2007, 9:25 pm
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I know what thats like!...my2 sons had to take up my slack...82nd...all American..

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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2007, 1:13 pm
 
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I think the continued use of these products are a contributing factor for E.D.

Last edited by Blkvelvt; Jan 5th, 2007 at 4:50 pm.
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 5th, 2007, 2:03 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blkvelvt
I think the continued use of these products are a contributing factor E.D.
Also causes chromosome damage and makes you sterile!
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 8th, 2007, 3:10 pm Thread Starter
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Who's Ed?


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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old Jan 9th, 2007, 12:31 am
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