Politically Correct - K-Bikes.com - Excellence in Motion
 
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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Nov 7th, 2005, 4:01 am Thread Starter
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Location: plymouth, MI, usa
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Politically Correct

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:



1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."



2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."



3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."



4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."



5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."



6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."



7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."



8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."



9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."



10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."



11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."



12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."









HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:



1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."



2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."



3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."



4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."



5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."



6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."



7. He does not have his "head up his ass" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."



8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."



9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He has "MARRIAGE DEFICIT DISORDER."



10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."



11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
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