An accountant gets home late one night and his wife says
"Where in the hell have you been?"

He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo".

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my privates", he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?' she said, shaking her head in disdain.

"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on
his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in awhile I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand and lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!!!"