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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old May 8th, 2008, 3:47 pm Thread Starter
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163
funnies

Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling, take celibacy.
This can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by environmental factors.

While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Robert and Mary listened to the instructor declare
'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.'

He addressed the men. 'Can you each name and describe your wife's favourite flower?'
Robert leaned over, touched Mary's arm gently and whispered,

'Self-raising, isn't it?'
Thus began Robert's life of celibacy....................................


BUENOS DIAS!!!

JOU HAVE YUST RECEIBED A MEHICAN BYRUS.
SIN WE NO HABE SO GOOD TECHNIOLOGICALLY ADBANCE IN MEHICO, DEES IS A
MANUAL BYRUS.

PLEESE DELETE ALL JOUR FILES ON JOUR HARD-DRIVE JOURSELF AND SEND
THEES E-MAIL TO EBERYONE JOU KNOW.
TANK JOU FOR HALPING ME.

JULIO MANUEL JOSE RODRIGUEZ-GARCIA----MEHICAN HACKER...............................
Tips for the ladies in year 2008.

1. Aspire to be Barbie......the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits......buy one in every colour.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt......A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group?......cocktail hour with the girls.
5. Go on the 30 day diet......l'm on it so far l've lost 15 days.
6. When life gets you down......just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear...... be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8. l know l'm in my own little world......but it's ok......they know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation......l can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot......it solves nothing, and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons in 2008......turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
12. Remember every good looking, sweet, single male...... is someone else"s ex boyfriend

A terrorist hijacked a 747 full of lawyers and issued demands for $2 billion and the release of 200 of his comrades from the Unpopular Front for the Freedom of Battery Hens.

If his demands were not met.......He threatened to release one lawyer every hour until they were ......................................

Retirement Planning


If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer/wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminium recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to Drink heavily and recycle.

Let people you care about know...
and tell them to Start Now!!!...................................


I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, "13...13....13...13."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting. "14...14...14...14....".
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