Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
There are these two ducks hanging around beside a lake - a lady duck and a gentleman duck and it's mating season.
The man duck starts prodding her with his beak and she says, "Here, what do you think you're doing? Haven't you any subtlety?"
He says, "Oh, don't you want to, then?"
She says, "Well, not here, there're people watching. Let's go to a hotel for the afternoon, like everyone else."
He says, "Where's a hotel, then?"
She says, "There's one there on the other side of the lake. Don't you know anything?"
So they fly across the lake and plod into the hotel and she says, "Go on, ask him for a room."
So the man duck says to the receptionist, "Quack! We want a room for the afternoon, please. We're on our honeymoon.
The receptionist says, "Certainly sir; room 22 ['quack quack’], here's your key."
So the ducks get in the lift and go up to the second floor and let themselves into their room. No sooner did they get there than he starts prodding her with his beak again.
After a while she says, "Hang on a minute. You got a condom?"
"What?" he says.
"A condom! This is 1999 and I'm not going to do it without a condom." "Oh. Well, er, where are we going to get one?"
"Haven't you had any education?" she says. "Ring for room service and ask them to send one up."
"How do I ring for room service?"
"For gosh sakes! Dial 0 and ask for room service."
So he knocks the receiver off the hook, prods the 0 on the phone with his beak and asks for room service.
When they answer, he says, "Quack! I'd like a pot of tea for two, some scones, a couple of slices of cake, the evening paper and ‘er…, a condom."
"Certainly sir," says room service. "That'll be with you in 10 minutes."
So the ducks just hang around for a few minutes looking out at the lake.
Then there is a knock and the waiter comes in with a tray. He puts the tray down on the table, fishes something out of his pocket and says, "There's your tea, sir, and here's your condom. Shall I put it on your bill?"
"Certainly not," says the duck. "What do you think I am - a pervert?"