Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
The only cow in a small town in Australia stopped giving
milk. The town folk found they could buy a cow in New Zealand
quite cheaply. They brought the cow from New Zealand and it
was wonderful, produced lots of milk every day and everyone
was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get
more cows, so they’d never have to worry about their milk
supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow -
but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would
move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow
would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the
deed. The people were very upset and decided to go the Vet,
who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his
advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she
moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves
forward, they said When he approaches her from the front, she
backs off. If he attempt from the one side, she walks away
to the other side."The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully
and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance,
buy this cow in New Zealand?"The people were
dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had
bought the cow over from New Zealand. "You are truly a
wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the
cow in New Zealand ?"The Vet replied with a distant
look in his eye, "My wife is from New Zealand."
Maw is outside hangin up the laundry, when she hears Paw in the kitchen. Maw walks in and says, "Paw, get out there and fix that there outhouse."
Paw says, "All right, Maw."
Paw walks out to the outhouse, looks at it, and says, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw says, "Yes, there is. Put your head down in the hole.
"Paw says "I ain't puttin my head in that there hole!"
Maw says, "Well you're gonna have to if'n you're gonna fix the problem!"
Paw puts his head down in the hole (just a little bit mind ya) and he hollers, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw hollers, "Now pull your head out of the hole."
Paw goes to lift up his head and he says, "Oww! OWW! Maw! MAW, my beard's stuck in the cracks in the seat!"
Maw says, "Aggravatin', ain't it?"