Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Australia has not been affected by the financial crisis as other countries have, for those with a problem, here are some helpful hints.
Donít waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to Ďswitch trackí simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
Donít waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having you identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.
Homeowners, Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it back again.
Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plateÖMr.KVL 741.
Donít waste money buying expensive binoculars, Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator. Not sure how to make contented wasps angry. Just put some into an empty cigar tube and youíll know
Save electricity by turning off all the light in your house and walking around wearing a minerís hat.
Housewives, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.
Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you donít know.
Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effect of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly against the wall.
Old people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for ten minutes without a coat, when you go back inside you will really feel the benefit.
Canít afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes.
Make your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.
Shoppers, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.
Woman, donít waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldnít care less anyway and you could use the save energy to vacuum the house afterwards