Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"
The barman says, "No, this is a bar, we don't have bread."
So the duck says, "Got any bread?"
The barman says, "No, this is a bar, we don't have bread. I told you that."
"Got any bread?" asks the duck.
"No, we don't sell bread here... and if you say that again i will nail you to the table!!!!"
The duck pauses then says, "Got any nails?"
"No," sighs the barman.
So the duck says..."Got any bread?"
There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out.
"YOU'RE DRUNK!" exclaimed the police officer.
"Thank God for that!" said the drunk, "I thought the steering had gone."
Undertaker to bereaved husband.
When did you 1st notice your wife was dead?
Well he replies, "The s*x was the same but the dishes were starting to pile up."