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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2009, 12:33 am Thread Starter
Papilio's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163

If you get a message from the Health Dept regarding canned pork with swine flu, do not open it. It is spam!

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight
loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands
before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed
in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around
her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me".

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles
later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same
thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is
delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands
the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen
in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes
and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you
can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in
excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with
him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself,
he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order
the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asked the representative on the phone.
"This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there was a knock at the door; and when he
opened it he saw a huge muscular guy standing there wearing
nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that
read, "If I catch you, your ass is mine".

He lost 63 pounds that week ...

Last edited by Papilio; Jun 22nd, 2009 at 12:45 am. Reason: misprint
Papilio is offline  
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