Dog and Cat diaries
A dog's diary:
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
A cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me
going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in
Their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I
was. Hm-m-m, not working according to plan. There was some sort of
gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I
overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can
wait; it is only a matter of time.