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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Sep 6th, 2009, 4:06 pm Thread Starter
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163
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The TAXATION DEPARTMENT decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to
The Taxation Office.

The Taxation Office Auditor was not
Surprised when Grandpa showed up with his solicitor.

The
Auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
Full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
Gambling. I'm not sure the Taxation Department finds that
Believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says
Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for
A moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet
You a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The
Auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa
Removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw
Drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars
That I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell
Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his
Dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now
Realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's
Solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go
Double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars
That I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
Wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in
Between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
Looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
Possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa
Stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
Mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the
Other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's
Desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
Turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own
Solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you
Okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the solicitor.
'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit,
He bet me fifty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss
All over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Don't
Mess with Old People!!
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