bet - - Excellence in Motion
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Sep 6th, 2009, 5:06 pm Thread Starter
Papilio's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163

The TAXATION DEPARTMENT decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to
The Taxation Office.

The Taxation Office Auditor was not
Surprised when Grandpa showed up with his solicitor.

Auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
Full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
Gambling. I'm not sure the Taxation Department finds that

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says
Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for
A moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet
You a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

Auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars
That I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell
Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his
Dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now
Realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's
Solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go
Double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars
That I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
Wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
Looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could
Possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
Mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the
Other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
Turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own
Solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you
Okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the solicitor.
'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit,
He bet me fifty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss
All over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Mess with Old People!!
Papilio is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the - Excellence in Motion forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome