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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Jul 13th, 2010, 3:56 pm Thread Starter
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163
Kiwi

The Australian Ventriloquist



An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and
sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to a local,
"G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"



Villager:
"The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist:
"Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog:
"Yeah, doin' all right."

The Kiwi (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist:
"Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the Villager)

Dog:
"Yep"

Ventriloquist:
"How does he treat you?"

Dog:
"Yeah, real good, He walks me twice a day,
feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play."

The Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist:
"Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Kiwi:
"Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist:
"Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse:
"Cool"

The Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist:
"Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the villager)

Horse:
"Yep"

Ventriloquist:
"How does he treat you?"

Horse:
"Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements..'

The Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist:
"Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

The Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a Fucking Liar!!!"
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