Navy Redundancy Programme
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of
$1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in
The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He
walked out with $96,000.
The third one, a non-commissioned officer, was grizzly old Chief who,
when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie
to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him,
measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em,"
which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of
the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
"My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied
. . "Vietnam".