pumpkins - K-Bikes.com - Excellence in Motion
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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Jan 23rd, 2011, 3:39 pm Thread Starter
Papilio's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163

Subject: FW: pumpkins

Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous ..

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male,
in a pumpkin patch 12.01 a.m. on Friday.

On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged
lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is
soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least
thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it,
know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching
police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor
approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I
walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .

'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
me straight in the face and said...
'A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already?'

This was in the Washington Post ... the title of the article was 'Best Come
Back Line Ever.'
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