Bob's hunting trip - K-Bikes.com - Excellence in Motion
 
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2006, 10:54 am Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 138
Bob's hunting trip

Bob was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He travelled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That bear was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex."

After considering briefly, Bob decided to accept the latter alternative.

So the black bear had his way with Bob. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Bob soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.

The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Bob. That bear was my cousin and you've got two choices.

Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex." Again, Bob thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Bob.

Although he survived, it took several months before Bob fully recovered. Now Bob was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Bob, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2006, 11:01 am Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 138
Liverpudlian vasectomy

After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one.

The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a
banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1, 2, 3, 4,5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs
so he could continue counting on his other hand.
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