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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old Jul 20th, 2011, 4:23 pm Thread Starter
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163
bloody hilarious jokes

I know there is no one home, but I,ll post em anyway




JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH*********
> >
> >
> > Two boys were walking home from Sunday school
> >
> > after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
> >
> > One said to the other, 'What do you think about
> >
> > all this Satan stuff?'
> >
> > The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how
> >
> > Santa Claus turned out.
> >
> > It's probably just your Dad.'
> >
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
> >
> > whispered to her mother,
> >
> > 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
> >
> > The mother replied, 'Because white is the color
> >
> > of happiness,
> >
> > and today is the happiest day of her life.'
> >
> > The child thought about this for a moment then said,
> >
> > 'So why is the groom wearing black?'
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running
> >
> > as fast as she could,
> >
> > trying not to be late for Bible class.
> >
> > As she ran she prayed,
> >
> > 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord,
> >
> > please don't let me be late!'
> >
> > While she was running and praying, she tripped
> >
> > on a curb and fell,
> >
> > getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
> >
> > She got up, brushed herself off, and started running
> >
> > again!
> >
> > As she ran she once again began to pray,
> >
> > 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please
> >
> > don't shove me either!'
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > Three boys are in the school yard bragging about
> >
> > their fathers.
> >
> > The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words
> >
> > on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,
> >
> > they give him $50.'
> >
> > The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad
> >
> > scribbles a few words on piece of paper,
> >
> > he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
> >
> > The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad
> >
> > scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,
> >
> > he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to
> >
> > collect all the money!'
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > An elderly woman died last month.
> >
> > Having never married, she requested no male
> >
> > pallbearers.
> >
> > In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
> >
> > service, she wrote,
> >
> > 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
> >
> > I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > A police recruit was asked during the exam,
> >
> > 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own
> >
> > mother?'
> >
> > He answered, 'Call for backup.'
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > A Sunday School teacher asked her class why
> >
> > Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them toJerusalem ..
> >
> > A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five
> > and six year olds.
> >
> > After explaining the commandment to 'Honour thy
> >
> > father and thy mother,' she asked,
> >
> > 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
> >
> > treat our brothers and sisters?'
> >
> > Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
> >
> > 'Thou shall not kill..'
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > At Sunday School they were teaching how God
> >
> > created everything, including human beings.
> >
> > Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
> >
> > told him
> >
> > how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
> >
> > Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
> >
> > down as though he were ill,
> >
> > and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little
> >
> > Johnny responded,
> >
> > 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have
> >
> > a wife.'
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old Jul 20th, 2011, 9:10 pm
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I am home and listening. Ah, those little johnny jokes........

Larry
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old Aug 10th, 2011, 2:15 am
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Durgapur, West Bengal, India
Posts: 2
very funy jocks.
>>Hindi Wife: Yesterday night you were drunk and you fell into a gutter.
>>Funny Hindi Husband: My bad luck, this all is because of bad company. We are four friends... 1 bottle, and those 3 devils don't drink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>Hindi Journalist: Laloo Ji, in our country, divorce cases are increasing day by day. What do you think is the main reason for it?
>>Funny Laloo: Marriage !toyota of orange
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