here come another one!!!! - K-Bikes.com - Excellence in Motion
 
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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Nov 26th, 2011, 12:50 am Thread Starter
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163
here come another one!!!!

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair,
but by turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with the
whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning

The wife suggested I get myself one of those dick enlargers, so I did.... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.

The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops. Although they do make me look a little bit gay.

Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the
same calibre."

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year.
You want to stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick ?
A: The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.

Remember the 7 qualities for the perfect girlfriend - Beautiful, Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible. Or in other words.............
B.I.G.T.I.T.S.

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It's great though.
It does everything - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.."

Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding the question
please."

On my Census form there is a question "Do you have any dependants ?" Apparently putting "Hundreds of Africans, Pakis, Somalians,
single mums, Romanians, loafers, smack heads and non English speaking people" isn't the right answer. They've sent my form back !

Prince William says he doesn't want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding. Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a toss, he's
still going.

The cost of living has now got so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries !

Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers, but she wants
the 12 pegs back.
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