Foot in Mouth - K-Bikes.com - Excellence in Motion
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old Jan 20th, 2006, 12:54 am Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 128
Cool Foot in Mouth

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words
back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of
a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked
loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband
didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who worked
at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked
at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind
the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically, The boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away.

To this day, my Sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just
as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that
I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.

Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked
him if he needed to go, and he said "No".

I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't
have any clothes with me."

Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"

"No," he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting
worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"


This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his
cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking
me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed
female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.


What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story!

We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So, Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too..... they
were laughing so hard!
Vanguard is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old Jan 20th, 2006, 1:40 am
Enthusiast
 
fastjohnny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Venice, CA, USA
Posts: 370
Smile

Thanks for the laughs...and the balls, er uhm, the courage to testify. Cheers.
fastjohnny is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the K-Bikes.com - Excellence in Motion forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How to put rear passenger foot peg on K12RS? Richinga Technical, Repair and Maintenance 1 Dec 8th, 2005 8:52 am
Brake pedal K12GT........ RedHawK12GT K1200RS/GT (Classic) 3 Nov 1st, 2005 12:50 pm
JoMamma is uhhh Got A Foot in the Grave jpalamaro Campfire 16 Oct 19th, 2005 11:28 am

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome