Darwin Awards - K-Bikes.com - Excellence in Motion
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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Jan 23rd, 2006, 3:13 am Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
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Cool Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of the year when, once
again, the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the
least evolved among us. Here are the glorious winners.

This years Blue Ribbon Darwin Award Winner:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at
his intended victim during a hold-up in Long
Beach,California, would-be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This
time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger
in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little
hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. Expecting negligence, the company sent out
one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried
the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim
was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a
space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago
returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental
patients he was supposed to be transporting from
Harareto Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus
stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.

He then delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff that the patients were
very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital
recovering from serious head wounds received from an
oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a
moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20
bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the
clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun
and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the
counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer was $15. (If someone points a gun at you
and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Evidently, an Arkansas guy wanted some beer
pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a
cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinderblock and
heaved it over his head at the window. The
cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief
on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event
was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience
store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk
called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.

They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
stand there for a positive ID, to which he replied,

"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. TheAnn Arbor News crime column reported that a
man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti,
Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food
order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
said they weren't available for breakfast.
Frustrated, the man walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a
motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much
more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the
scene to find a very sick man curled up in a fetal
position, next to a motor home near some spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by
mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to
press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.
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