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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Mar 28th, 2006, 3:18 pm Thread Starter
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163
some new

The Battle of the Sexes.....Ladies, we lost this round!

Ken was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.
"Promise to fulfill my last request, Cindy," he said.
"Of course, Ken," his wife said.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Tim."
"But I thought you hated Tim," she said.
With his last breath, Ken said, "I do!"


Larry's bar

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful

to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men.
In fact, she goes to bed with anybody who asks her! I'm going

crazy. What do you think I should do?"

"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down.

...Now, tell me, where exactly is Larry's bar?"


The curse.....

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a

"Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact

words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man

and wife."


The first man...

A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to

come back to his hotel. When they are relaxing afterwards, he

asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?"

She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying.

"You might be," she says. "Your face does look familiar!"


A Man goes to see the Rabbi.

"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to

you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning

me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see
what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to

your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. Do you

want to hear my advice?"

The man anxiously says, "Yes, YES!"

"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
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