no power in the 'verse can stop me
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: n.e.ohia, , usa
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road ?
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD ?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on
"THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So,
instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken
a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our
side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will rema in against it.
JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and by the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken
was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you
eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road.
It's as plain and simple as that!
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first
time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream
of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together -- in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable
and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
tim-----still on the right side of the frostline
you can't stop the signal