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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old Jul 9th, 2006, 3:24 pm Thread Starter
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recruit

Got this from a cop in the USA who has stayed here, subtle bit of shit stirring I think.



Letter from a recruit in the Australian Army
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of
you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town west of Quilpie in the far
southwest of Queensland)


Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you’se are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that
the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody
quick smart before the jobs are all gone!

I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get
outta bed until 6am. But I like the sleeping in now, cuz all yagotta do
before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No
bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack, nothin'!!

Ya haz gotta shave though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot
water and even a light to see what ya doing! At brekky ya get cereal, fruit
and eggs but there’s no kangaroo steak or possum stew like wot Mum makes.

You don't get fed again until noon, and by that time all the city boys
are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like
walking to the windmill in the back paddock!! This one
will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals
for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's
bum and it don't move and its not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did
when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last
year!

All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a
piece of pi$$!! You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in
little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of
the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real
careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack
and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the
muster.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the
platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the
Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the
shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet,
but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before
word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Sheila
xxx
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old Jul 10th, 2006, 10:06 pm
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What a load of crap!

Jeez some one thinks we are hicks!

Nth Queensland
AUSTRALIA

2005 K1200S
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old Jul 11th, 2006, 11:25 am
 
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No worries.

A version of that story has been circulating for awhile. When told in the States we usually replace with some country bumpkin from Arkansas or some rural southern State.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old Jul 11th, 2006, 3:23 pm Thread Starter
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crap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by baytown
What a load of crap!

Jeez some one thinks we are hicks!

Shit thats the air force for ya. They always did take life too seriously.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old Jul 11th, 2006, 4:09 pm
 
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I just thought it was funny.

Graham
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old Jul 11th, 2006, 7:17 pm
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Calm down m'boy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by baytown
What a load of crap! Jeez some one thinks we are hicks!
Geeze Baytown. It's an OK joke at best, but certainly doesn't affect our generally (very) favorable view of Australians. As Papilio sez, the theme is old over here as well, always associated with a rough-hewn country and/or farm boy joining the service. The fact that this version had a girl as the toughie writing the letter home was an unexpected surprise. Even an old grouchie-boy like me was forced to smile at that point. Best regards.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxer8
When told in the States we usually replace with some country bumpkin from Arkansas or some other rural southern State.
See Baytown. I don't know what you were complaining about! It's when some semi-yankee SOB like Boxer8 from Colorado uses it just to dis' we country-bumpkin boys from a "rural southern state" that something like this turns really offensive!

Last edited by K_Biker_Bill; Jul 11th, 2006 at 7:24 pm.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old Jul 12th, 2006, 10:29 am
 
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Settle down.

Just stating the facts. Every version of that story I ever heard had a "Southerner" inserted. You don't see a compliment in there? By the way, "semi-yankee SOB"? I'm born and bred southerner. I guess I just handle it better.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old Jul 12th, 2006, 9:58 pm
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Wellp, this Yankee thought it was funny as hell. Yeeee hhaaaaaaa! classic.

"flying through hyper-space ain't like dustin' crops boy"
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