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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old Aug 13th, 2006, 7:12 pm Thread Starter
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Papilio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163
diet

I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Kmart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (DUH!)

On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was
starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of
most of my orifices and in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food
is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was
by
now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food
was poisoned.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and
a
car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he
was
laughing so hard!
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old Aug 13th, 2006, 7:16 pm
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Location: Plano, TX, USA
Posts: 2,313
Call an ambulance. I can't stop laughing!

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