In the beginning... - - Excellence in Motion
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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Oct 24th, 2005, 11:18 am Thread Starter
jdsmith1953's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: plymouth, MI, usa
Posts: 691
In the beginning...

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth
with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and red vegetables of
all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said "You want chocolate with that?" and Man
said "Yes!" and Woman said "and while you're at it add some sprinkles." And
they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man
found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar
from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island
Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman
unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which
to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish, fried chicken and fried
steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Cake" and said "It
is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food".

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those
extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not
have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before
the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its £1 double
cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes! And
super size them!" And Satan said "it is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created the National Health Service.
Thought for the day ..........

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on
Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly
population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection
of what to do with them......
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