A Dog ' s Diary
7 AM - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 AM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 AM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people ' s bed! My
A Cat ' s Diary
Day 183 of my
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to
eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing
the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around
their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.
Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on
their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body
in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable
of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They
only cooed and condescended about what a good little
kitty cat I
was. This is not working according to
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary confinement
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More important, I overheard that my confinement
was due to my powers of inducing something called
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
The dog is routinely released and seems more than
happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am
certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait.
It ' s only a matter of time