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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old Nov 27th, 2006, 7:38 pm Thread Starter
 
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Pet Diaries.......

Diaries

A Dog ' s Diary


7 AM - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

8 AM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 AM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people ' s bed! My
favorite!





A Cat ' s Diary


Day 183 of my
captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to
eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing
the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around
their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.
Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on
their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body
in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable
of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They
only cooed and condescended about what a good little
kitty cat I
was. This is not working according to
plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary confinement
throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More important, I overheard that my confinement
was due to my powers of inducing something called
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems more than
happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am
certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait.

It ' s only a matter of time
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old Dec 1st, 2006, 3:46 am
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 128
Talking

Unfortunately I can totally relate to this one....
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old Dec 1st, 2006, 6:18 am
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: covington, la, usa
Posts: 452
Replacing a puppy.....interesting read

We got the girls a puppy this time last year. About 3 weeks ago it tried to dodge traffic on a busy road. Now we're looking for a new one. During drawn out grieving period, the 9 year old managed to secure authorization for a kitten that will be raised with the new puppy so they will be "bestest" friends when they are older, just like on tv. :wtf

I'm glad I have a motorcycle.

Thanks for the laugh,

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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old Dec 1st, 2006, 2:24 pm
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Location: Milwaukee, WI, USA
Posts: 351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravity
We got the girls a puppy this time last year. About 3 weeks ago it tried to dodge traffic on a busy road. Now we're looking for a new one. During drawn out grieving period, the 9 year old managed to secure authorization for a kitten that will be raised with the new puppy so they will be "bestest" friends when they are older, just like on tv. :wtf

I'm glad I have a motorcycle.

Thanks for the laugh,

Gravity
Just make sure that kitten keeps it's claws, dogs can play rough (pun intended).

03K12RS
:wtf Joel Callan :wtf
Milwaukee, WI 53222

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