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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old Apr 23rd, 2007, 3:33 pm Thread Starter
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 1,163
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Two Nuns

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Marie, are traveling through Europe in
their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the
car and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?" "Turn the
windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister
Marie.
Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on
and continues hissing at the nuns.
"What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the
Vatican," says Sister Marie.
Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water
burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "Now
what?" shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross," says Sister Marie.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn.
She opens the window and shouts, "Get the fuck off the car!"




Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to
as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as "APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS".
And furthermore..
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT? :
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED-AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a"MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is (love this one) "HORIZONTALLY-ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is
"PECTORALLY-SUPERIOR."


12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT?:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY"
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL".
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE."
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