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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old Jul 24th, 2008, 3:10 pm Thread Starter
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Rudd

Kevin Rudd called Julia Gillard into his office one day and said,

'Julia,I have a great idea!

We are going to go all out to win the country voters.'

'Good idea Leader, how will we go about it?' said Julia.

'Well,' said Rudd,

'we'll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats,

some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat.

Oh, and a blue cattle dog.

Then we'll really look the part.

We'll go to a typical old outback country pub,

we'll show we really enjoy the bush.'

'Right.' Said Julia.
Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.

Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub.

They walked in with the dog and up to the bar.

'G'day mate,' said Rudd to the bartender, 'two middies of your best beer.' 'Good afternoon Leader,' said the bartender,

'two middies of our best coming up.'

Gillard and Rudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again

to whoever came into the bar for a drink.

The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden,

the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip.

He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later,

in came another old stockman with his whip.

He walked up to the dog and lifted its tail,

looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually,
Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the barman over.

'Tell me,' said Rudd,

'why did all those old stockmen come in and look
under the dog's tail like that?

Is it an old outback custom?'
'Strewth no!' said the barman.

'Its just that someone went'n told 'em there was a cattle dog in this bar with two arseholes!'
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old Jul 26th, 2008, 10:03 am
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I would rescue the dog and leave the two arseholes behind in the bar for the barman and stockmen to sort out.

Bob

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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old Jul 28th, 2008, 7:32 am
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Politicians

Reminds me of the time Tim Fischer walked into a country pub and announced- "Hi, my names Tim and I'm your Country member.
The old stockman looked once and said "Yeah, we remember"!

kalboy53

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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2008, 4:52 am
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rudd the dud

Maybe leave the useless arseholes out the back of NSW so we can get the country running again. cheers Andrew
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2008, 5:01 am
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Rudd the Dudd

Quote:
Originally Posted by asquires
Maybe leave the useless arseholes out the back of NSW so we can get the country running again. cheers Andrew
Speaking of which, has anybody actually seen the F%!#*ing imposter lately?

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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2008, 5:10 am
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white/green/review

They will be trying to organise another white/green paper review etc , were up to 124 recently.Shame the have done nothing so far! cheers Andrew
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2008, 6:33 am
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People keep talking about the long hours that he spends at work but would you want to go home to Mrs Rudd.
I would be creating as many different coloured papers as possible too if it kept me from that experience.
Even Julia would look hot compared to that!!

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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old Aug 2nd, 2008, 3:51 pm Thread Starter
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huh?

Daddicool you look like my next door neighbour. Frightening>...He is supposed to be a motor mechanic but leaves for work at 1030, comes home late and is a cousin of Mokbel> It aint you is it???
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old Aug 9th, 2008, 3:06 pm Thread Starter
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where

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dadicool59
Speaking of which, has anybody actually seen the F%!#*ing imposter lately?

Nuh! I never went to Beijing.

'The prime minister held a meeting with the cabinet today. He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the chest of drawers. (Ronnie Barker)

Last edited by Papilio; Aug 9th, 2008 at 3:14 pm. Reason: add
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old Aug 9th, 2008, 9:04 pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Papilio
Daddicool you look like my next door neighbour. Frightening>...He is supposed to be a motor mechanic but leaves for work at 1030, comes home late and is a cousin of Mokbel> It aint you is it???
If I was you would know me by the herbacious aroma of my smoking jacket! Do you? Did you ever see the movie "The Mechanic"?

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